If you’re not one of the handful of people who knew me back when I started my very first blog in 2011, then I can totally understand why you might be wondering why this blog is called That’s Random Kate. (I just switched back to this name in 2022. Did a rebrand.) I would agree that it’s a pretty random name, but that’s, you know, kind of the point.
[NOTE: I wrote this a long time before I published it. This is mostly only relevant because of one sentence, where you’ll find an asterisk and further explanation at the end of the page.]
If my memory serves me correctly, I really got the motivation to start my first blog—and name it as I did—from a bit of pettiness—in the sense that I hyper-focused in on something and felt motivated to take immediate action.
The year was 2010ish. I was a young lady trying to find her way in Los Angeles, and for some reason I had a knack for manifesting really far-out fantasies. No delusion was safe. Through what I can only call a high-level talent of making random sh*t happen with my mind alone—or, manifesting maybe?—I began dating my celebrity crush.
This guy was at the height of his career, acting in something that I not only wanted to act in myself, but would have liked to step into and live as my reality. [Fast forward a decade and let’s say the project has had its fair share of controversy, so in retrospect, observing from a distance has been totally fine. But it’s great either way.]
To say I had a lot of respect for this guy was an understatement. In some ways, I idolized him. Where I was skilled at making random sh*t happen, he was skilled at fully making dreams come true.
My dreams. He was literally living my dreams. At the time I didn’t feel like I had much besides a stressful job waiting tables to beach tourists in Santa Monica, and this noncommittal faux-boyfriend/non-boyfriend figure who wanted me to stick around while he was busy living his dreams and sticking it around. Wink. Cue 2010ish me crying.
(I think this was well before anyone ever utilized the term “situationship, but it was one.”)
One day I was goofing around and said something silly (probably hilarious), to which this guy replied with what felt like dripping disdain:
It cut me to my core, dredging up old wounds inflicted by my middle school frenemy’s habit of throwing me a codeword as a signal that literally meant to shut up when I was getting any attention. She used to sing-song “C.H. Kate” when I was being funny and at risk of charming our sixth-grade peers. “C.H.” was short for “change.”
[Note: If you went to middle school with me and think you know who I’m talking about, you might be wrong. I went to two middle schools, both with equally mean girls. One of them apologized to me in adulthood.]
Anyway, easily triggered at the time, the way I perceived this man’s flippant remark really sent me over the edge. No more trying to shut me up, thank you very much. I climbed out of bed, drove back to my apartment in West Hollywood, and launched my first blog: thatsrandomkate.blogspot.com. Showed him.
I started publishing witty (and random, of course) blog posts on topics such as the potholes on my street, bad coffee shops to work at, and the dead squirrel I once saw laying under a tortilla on the sidewalk. (Haunting! Unforgettable!)
In a way, I was reclaiming that sentence: That’s random Kate. I embraced it. Maybe this guy did not appreciate all of my unique qualities. My randomness wasn’t for him. But it was me, and 2010 me figured I should lean into that. Hard. Go get it girl.
Sidebar: In case you’re wondering, I did not go out and blog about the guy. The “pettiness” started and stopped with naming the blog. Since I was a small girl I have spent a lot of time dutifully carrying the fearful responsibility of making everyone else happy at my own expense.* I wouldn’t dare throw salt on this guy’s name.
Also, it’s completely possible that I totally misread this guy’s tone. (Maybe.) Either way I was obviously being driven by a much larger thing than being called random. I was responding to the then ever present pattern of simply not feeling seen.
I used that blog to get my very first unpaid “internship” at a notable entertainment site, and soon turned those clips into paid work. I weaved the wave of frustration into a river of productivity and started sharing my thoughts with the world wide web.
Here we are.**
I thank that guy for giving me the jumpstart, as unintentional as it sounds. He’s no longer with us, but he taught me a lot about myself, and…basically named this blog.
They say don’t meet your heroes, I say do. It can be a quick way to realize that you can (and must) be your own hero.
*I’ve since evolved into an adult with healthy(er) boundaries. I’m capable of leaving people, places, and things that no longer align with my best life…it’s wild!
**I actually wrote this post way before I rebranded my art & lifestyle blog Divvy Mag back into That’sRandomKate. So, legitimately, HERE WE ARE.